Even Feminists Like to be Pretty and That’s OK

8dcfb032995b11e2ac8422000a1fbf16_7I have always had this stereotypical, internal struggle about feminism and being a girly-girl who loves sparkly things and spa days. Especially when it comes to raising a daughter. No, seriously. Hear me out.

There are so many types of parenting. Gender neutral being one of them, which for a while I truly tried. But when it came down to the pink tutus and the frilly purple pants I had to give in. This, of course, was after having two sons who wore nothing but sports and blue during their first years of life.

I wanted to embrace the other side of baby products, and pink. Because pink just so happens to be one of my favorite colors. See, growing up I was a huge tomboy. But no matter how much I loved playing war in the dirt with the boys or throwing the softball with my dad I always wanted to do it in pink. Something girly, sparkly, anything that was pretty.

Still to this day I am like that. And our almost two year old daughter is following right in my foot steps. With the choice between a La La Loopsy Doll and a Monster truck, most of the time the doll wins out. Of course, she enjoys monster trucks and fire trucks with her brothers. But if they aren’t around to influence her, dolls it is!

Picking between a pink pillow and a blue pillow, the pink will win out. She will do anything for a sparkly pair of shoes, kind of like me.

So with all that being said I like to do fun girly shit with her. I love it just like she does and I secretly love having a daughter because I would much rather go for manicures and sundaes than see a monster truck rally or watch the boys play on the fire trucks. This weekend I brought her for her very first manicure which concluded with getting her ears pierced, and then a scoop of watermelon Italian ice and gummy bears.

It was one of those memories I will hold on to as long as I live, and I can only hope that as I raise her to be a strong independent woman that she can continue to love all these girly things and feel comfortable with them, as well as with her strong sense of self.

Image via Danielle Elwood, with permission

  • Marti Teitelbaum

    No need to feel guilty. As an old Mom with grown children, just going with what your kids like is the right way to do it. My older daughter would only wear dresses in preschool. Pink. But she was not a prim & proper little girl so I can’t tell you the number of pairs of pink tights we went through in the winter months. I would send her off to school in a bright clean dress & tights and when I picked her up she was brown all over from rolling in the dirt, with big holes in her tights. At a story-telling event at a birthday party, all the girls sat and listened intently, while the boys and my daughter in her fluffy party dress were literally climbing the walls (yes, physically climbing the wall behind the storyteller).
    At age 24, she’s still a very girly girl who loves getting fancy hair cuts, wearing make-up, getting manicures and pedicures. And also powerfully opinionated, an organizer, an activist, and a lesbian. They are who they are.

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