By now you’ve heard that North Carolina’s voters have cast their ballots to amend our state Constitution. Amending a Constitution is no small feat and is not to be taken lightly. North Carolinians voted on Amendment One that stated that the only recognized union is the marriage between a man and a woman and bans all other civil unions, even heterosexual ones. Note that gay marriage is already illegal in North Carolina so this amendment didn’t stand to change anything except to harm families and citizens who fall in its wake as unsuspecting, innocent victims. In my humble opinion, civil rights do not belong in the hands of voters.

Supporters of the amendment have been citing the Bible and its passages massaged to tell only their story. Funny how that happens. America was founded on the premise of religious freedom. Our very forefathers were escaping religious persecution and would surely be devastated to hear of this push for Christian Sharia law here on our soil. I cannot do this topic justice so I defer to my attorney friend who so passionately voices what I am trying to say:

“The Bible is not in the constitution! The constitution specifically states that the government shall not establish a religion. This means that you are permitted to practice your Christianity, and I am permitted to practice my religion without government interference. Having so-called Biblical beliefs enacted into law interferes with my ability to practice my religion and imposes your beliefs on me. There seems to be ongoing misinformation among some Christians that Christianity is under attack and being legislated against. This is utterly false. For instance, I have heard so many times in the fight over school prayer that Christians are not being allowed to pray in school. False. You can pray anywhere you want for anyone you want. What you can’t do is have the school lead the prayer and force my child to pray for your beliefs. You have always had and will always have the ability to marry whomever you like in whatever church you like. If same sex marriage is legal, your church would not have to marry homosexuals (or non-Christians or anyone else). You have and always have had the right to live according to your particular Christian beliefs. But this Amendment forces all of us who do not share your beliefs to live how you think we should and in accordance with your interpretation of the Bible and what God wants us to do. That conflicts with the Constitutional principles our country was founded on–freedom for you AND ME to practice our beliefs without government interference. Amendment One in no way would have hurt your right to pray, marry, practice your particular brand of Christianity, etc., but it does take away rights from those who don’t share in your beliefs and has real world consequences for homosexuals and heterosexuals in domestic relationships.”

FACT: The last time North Carolina amended its constitution on marriage was to ban interracial marriage. In 1875.

I find this history of “marriage meddling” to be fascinating. Where does your state fall? Shamefully, and somewhat expectedly, both my home state and the state where I grew up, North Carolina and Virginia respectively, did not repeal miscegenation laws until 1967…when the Supreme Court deemed these laws unconstitutional based on the Loving vs. Virginia case of the same year. My husband’s home state of Wisconsin never had such laws on their books. Hurray for the Badger state!

With education come experience and exposure. I know this much is true.

In the end, this vote was not even along party lines, as some might have expected. Some of my most conservative, highly religious Christian friends voted against Amendment One. My Republican friends have been as vocally outraged as I have been. Many of our state’s religious leaders spoke out against the amendment. I also happen to have friends who are so driven by their religious zeal that they cannot wrap their heads, much less their arms, around homosexuality. They voted based on their beliefs, and I cannot fault them. This very right is what our country is based on, right? It is important to note that not all supporters of the amendment can be stereotyped as haters. My friends who supported the amendment are loving, generous people who contribute to their communities. I cannot understand their views on homosexuality and “sin” but I would not classify these generous people as haters. We can respectfully disagree, as maddening as that is for both of us! I fully respect how people pray and worship. But in the end, I cannot stand by while people want to integrate the Bible and its teachings into our government. Beyond that, I have seen some devastating outcomes of intolerance, some too mouth-agape-horrid to conceive.

I have received a flurry of emails, tweets, texts, and what-nots from friends around the country. I thought I would share some of those comments and my own Facebook updates and tweets to give you a taste of what the pulse is among my circle of friends and influencers.
If Amendment One passes tomorrow, North Carolina has no business using the tag line “Goodness grows in NC.”

And just like that, North Carolina, I am so ashamed.

NC H8S!

GOP governor candidate Pat McCrory is waxing about our “broken economy & education system.” So help me understand why Amendment One is even an issue.

My condolences, honey. I know you fought it hard.

It really, really sucks. I’ve been DYING to move back, and now? No, thanks. We like living where it’s okay to be yourself.

I’ll tell the decent loving people I know to stay away! I’m so ashamed. I’m in tears right now.

Sadly so. Hatred, fear, ignorance, and rank bigotry win the day.

Progressive friends, we need to focus on how the current political climate will affect bullying and hate crimes. It will surely be a justification for those who hate. Let’s start with our schools and neighbors and keep spreading the love. We can raise a more open-minded generation but we need to keep talking about it. The best defense to ignorance is knowledge.

Fellow North Carolinian John Edwards is on trial because of allegations of misuse of campaign money to cover up an affair. Sanctity of marriage indeed.

We haven’t come so far after all. And for those who mention how women had to fight to vote and we can buck up and do this…I say, this is 2012. We should be done fighting for rights of our citizens.

I am so ashamed of the state I call home. Props to everyone who toiled to keep the Bible out of our Constitution and fought fiercely to protect ALL our citizens’ rights.

By the way, North Carolinians who voted for Amendment One, GAY soldiers are out there fighting for you to enjoy religious freedom. Ironic much?

Leave it to NC to make even Virginia look progressive.

Here’s an idea for those people who do not understand the separation of church & state: Let’s stand in line to vote on amending the Bible.

The person you call a “sinner” is a soldier fighting for your freedom, a doctor or nurse fighting for your life, a lawyer fighting for your rights, a businessperson fighting to support his/her family, a child fighting for love and acceptance. Sleep well.

North Carolina has a new motto (or tourism tagline): “WTF, NC?!”

Still love NC. Just have some work to do.

It’s also worth noting that beloved author Maurice Sendak died on May 8, election day in North Carolina. Mr. Sendak was a gay man, and his contributions to our childhoods and our own children is indisputable. By the way, Sendak was in a relationship with his partner for 50 years. To honor him, we must fight back. Let the wild rumpus begin, North Carolina!

Image via iStockPhoto/Catherine Yeulet

I still, after 10.5 years of mothering, can’t figure out which kind of mother I want to brand myself. I’m referring to arguments for, or against, attachment parenting, natural parenting, or Tiger Mothering. But, since everyone appears determined to follow someone’s parenting philosophy, I’m going to brand one myself, in honor of Mother’s Day 2012.

I’m going to call my brand The Girl Revolution Exceptional Mothering™, or simply Exceptional Mothering™, for short, TGREM™. To label yourself an Exceptional Mother™, or TGREM™, here are the 10 strict rules to which you must adhere, debate, convert and evangelize:

• Love Your Kids.
• Teach What You Know.
• Make Intuitive Parenting Decisions.
• Banish Guilt.
• Be an Authentic Woman/Person.
• Have Fun.
• Leave the Other Mothers Alone, (especially the ones who make different choices).
• Grow Good Humans.
• Apologize When Necessary.
• Do Better Every Day.

If you follow these 10 simple rules of TGREM™ you are guaranteed happy children, a peaceful mothering experience, and a loving bond with secure humans who will succeed in adulthood. When you follow the Exceptional Mothering™ parenting philosophy, you will make people who will grow up to have fulfilling careers and promising love lives. Or promising careers and fulfilling love lives, whatever. And when they are teenagers they’ll always speak respectfully. And they will listen to your advice about sex and using a condom or waiting until marriage. And they’ll never do drugs or smoke cigarettes. Or be mean girls or bullies. Or feel unloved. And they will never, ever turn on you and scream “I HATE YOU!” when you tell them they can’t go somewhere or when you make them clean the bathroom. And they won’t have eating disorders: neither starving, barfing, or binge eating. Or marry people who are mean to them. Or date boys who don’t call them back. And they’ll never get divorced.

OK. You got me. I can’t guarantee any of that. But, then neither can any other parenting method. At least The Girl Revolution Exceptional Mothering™ philosophy’s strict rules cut a mother a break.

By leaving a comment, Liking or Sharing this post on Facebook, or retweeting it, you too are committing to being an Exceptional Mother™ and you agree to follow the 10 simple rules of TGREM™. Happy Mother’s Day all you Exceptional Mothers™! Don’t forget to convert your friends!

Visit The Girl Revolution!

Edwards is charged with six felony and misdemeanor counts related to donations to and payments from his failed 2008 presidential campaign. He is accused of conspiracy, issuing false statements and violating campaign contribution laws. He denies any wrongdoing.

The testimony is this case so far has been nothing short of titillating, causing Above the Law to call the trial “Fifty Shades of John Edwards.”  John Edwards senior aide Andrew Young testified that Edwards called his mistress a “crazy slut” when he found out she was pregnant with his child.  And Young’s wife testified that she did not want to go forward with this “hiding the mistress” plan, but Edwards assured her it was not illegal.  She said, “I felt like everything had been dumped in my lap. Everybody was on board but me. I didn’t want the campaign to explode and for it to be my fault. I ultimately decided to live with a lie.”

Mrs. Young was cross-examined about her husband’s drug and alcohol use and whether he took so much Ambien he could not remember things.  Add in drug and alcohol use to the scandal!

I don’t know, I just am not sure how you get behind having your husband  lie and tell the world a baby is his.  And then go on the run with the woman who is carrying a presidential candidate’s baby.  Even if the presidential candidate assured me it was legal. Because it just seems wrong.

Whether or not it was wrong isn’t the question though.  The question is, was it illegal?  We may want to convict John Edwards for being the jerkiest jerk in all the land, but ultimately the question is, did he break campaign finance laws?

In the end, whatever decision I make will have financial repercussions, for better or for worse, for my family. And the more I think about it, I realize, almost every adult decision in a woman’s life has financial strings attached.

As my daughter pulls out of the driveway in the 10-plus-year-old car we’ve made available to her, I wonder if I have taken all the right steps to prepare her for her financial future, just as I think about how mine is once again morphing and changing.

All of this musing comes with the release of a new and insightful book called The Seven Pearls of Financial Wisdom: A Woman’s Guide to Enjoying Wealth and Power by Carol Pepper and Camilla Webster.  Both women have a sizable background in financial matters–Carol as a financial adviser and Camilla as a financial journalist with whom I worked at Forbes.

While writing the book, Camilla asked me if I would be one of her “experts” and could she ask about how a family health crisis can affect financial stability along with tips for planning and living through long-term challenges. Of course, I was asked to be an example of “crisis.”  Funny, when you are living through one, trying to keep your child alive, you find it hard to see it in financial terms of any kind but you need to.

When I agreed to be a “crisis” expert, I had no idea that by the time the book arrived in stores, I would once again be making another change in my kaleidoscope career, and be turning to The Seven Pearls for reminders, tips and advice about more than putting my financial house in order, but rather, looking at the myriad of events and subjects that actually do affect the growth of financial well-being in our lives and the power within ourselves that translates into power in the world.

According to The Seven Pearls, there are seven stages in a woman’s life of power and wealth building in no specific order: wealth building, crisis and loss, romance and marriage, retirement, motherhood and legacy building.

This is not a plain-vanilla how-to or a Suze Orman do-it-yourself guide. Not every chapter is for everyone. Certainly, tips to find the man with the right financial fit is not for everyone. Some of the wealth-building discussion feels like it’s aimed only at the silver spoon set and yet the chapter on Motherhood even suggests how mom bloggers are beginning to create wealth with the stroke of their keyboards (when a survey last year showed that most women who identify as money-making bloggers say they earned on average less than $30,000 in 2010). The Crisis chapter lists the importance of insurance of all kinds, the breath of issues a health crisis can hurl at you, surviving divorce, kidnapping and natural disasters.  And of course, there is a discussion of retirement planning called Legacy Building.

But if the devil is in the details, this all-encompassing handbook is filled with them.  They leave little out when it comes to drags on finances including what it costs to “parent a pet.” Even if a chapter is not the perfect fit, the stories of the “experts,” their personal decisions or advice are compelling. There is an inspirational side to all of it all. As I read through The Fourth Pearl: A Woman Must Exercise Her Power In Life, I found myself taking notes and wondering if I had been taking a focused approached on the brand of me.

Chapter One: Wealth Building reminds us to teach our children about financial stability and how every stage of life will affect it and the choices she makes. It reminds me to have these discussions again with my daughter, along with Chapter Two: Romance and Marriage, or maybe I should just hand her the book. It’s a master class she probably won’t get in college but one that should be worth more than 3 credits.

Image via hbo.com

If Elaine from Seinfeld turned to the world of politics, and added in a dash of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a pinch of The Office, you’d have Selina Meyer, the vice president of unnamed political party in HBO’s new series, VEEP.  I was so excited when I heard this show was getting produced — I had a little inside information since some of the scenes were shot in the offices of someone “close” to me — because I’ve long mourned the demise of Geena Davis as our first pretend POTUS.

With Elaine, I mean Julia Louis-Dreyfus, playing the role of the vice president, I knew the show wasn’t going to be like the West Wing, but I was looking forward to some insight and humor into the unique challenges of women in our testosterone driven world of national politics. But in watching the first couple of episodes of VEEP, that’s not what we’re getting.

While Meyer has idealistic issues as her pet causes — recyclable soy-based eating utensils and filibuster reform — her version of a vice president is more jaded politico than a fresh player with new perspectives. And that made me wonder — is this character of Selina Meyer an example of the kind of woman it will take to eventually be the first woman VP or even the first woman POTUS? If so, I’m not sure that’s a version of female political power I want to see. Call me crazy, but I hope that whoever ends up as the first woman in the Oval Office or the first female vice president will be more than just the same old kind of politician who just happens to wear a skirt and own a curling iron.

Maybe the reason VEEP misses the mark for me is this –  as a satire, the show has nothing to be satirical about. We’ve come close to having a woman as vice president, but so far we have no idea how that experience as second-in-command would actually be any different from Joe Biden’s or Al Gore’s. (As for Dick Cheney’s? I’d rather just forget about that). So what we get is an almost-comedy about what we’ve seen so far in vice presidents, rather than an imagined view of how things might be different when a woman steps into those shoes.

I want to see a woman president (or vice president) before I die, but not one who looks like Selina Meyer.

Image via iStockPhoto/Uyen Le

The whole country just finished their Standardized Tests. If you’re a parent you know that the entire school year has been hijacked by making sure kids pass these tests. It’s legislation called No Child Left Behind and was the major education reformation of George II.

The test had a number of consequences — some good, some bad. The good part was that it created a national tracking system that allowed us to get some idea of who was learning what. Prior to No Child Left Behind schools and districts were using their own tracking system or no tracking system at all.

The bad part is that it took a lot of creativity out of the classroom, substituted rote memorization for actual learning and put a ton of pressure on school boards, principals, teachers, parents and students.

In other words, the Standardized Test became the central focus of education. Instead of giving our kids the experience of actual learning through creativity, it substituted artificial learning for an organic, authentic education. It made kids conform to a “cookie cutter” education. It also increased Title 1 participation, because if your kid was diagnosed with autism, ADD, dyslexia or a variety of other issues, their test scores are counted, but they get special tutors, services and accommodations in order to ensure that their test scores improve. Which if you’re a parent, you want your kid to have the best education and performance possible, and if you’re on the faculty you NEED these kids to perform well. In other words, it is likely that No Child Left Behind actually increased the number of kids with a diagnosis.

Another downside is that it really isn’t appropriate for schools and the public education system to bear the burden of making sure kids learn well when it is obvious that there are other factors at play. Time Magazine‘s article “Why It’s Time to Replace No Child Left Behind” points out that there actually are children left behind and they are the same children that were being left behind before this supposed magical reform of America’s education. While middle-class and upper-class kids have improved their scores and do well, poor and minority children still lag behind.

Part of this is the way we fund education in this country. If you live in a rich community there are dollars to spare for education through higher property taxes or at least property taxes on more expensive homes, which equates to more education money. Money buys better technology, safer classrooms and halls, better faculty, better and more extra-curricular activities, more educational resources — in other words, a far better education. If you live in a poor one — you’re screwed. Education isn’t equal in this country and it never will be unless we reform how we fund the education of our students. One solution is to distribute dollars equally through gambling or lotteries as Nevada and a few other states do. Another is to fund education entirely by the state property taxes which go to the state school board, as opposed to the local one, and let the state distribute funds equitably regardless of the income of certain neighborhoods and parts of town. For obvious reasons upper- to middle-class communities will likely oppose this, because hey, their kids get a great education.

But money is not the major issue here, as New Jersey schools show quite clearly. New Jersey spends far more per student than the national average and they have far more failing schools and failing students.

Yes, yes, fire the sucky teachers, sucky administrations, etc. You’ve heard it all before as the big solution to education’s problem. God bless the teachers who are willing to go into these failing schools, stick their feet into quick sand and fight the battle for these kids. Certainly, moving away from a failing school and students who don’t score well would be most prudent for their careers. Unless, of course, you choose to believe that all teachers who enter these institutions couldn’t get a job elsewhere and don’t care at all about their students, only their retirement. Which, I think is pretty far fetched.

What I don’t understand is why schools are being held accountable for the factors that have nothing to do with education at all — communities that are drug-infested nightmarish nests of violence or the culture of certain communities that don’t value education at all. It seems absurd to me that we expect schools to overcome these obstacles, in fact, it’s absurd to assume that schools have any responsibility to change the consequences of these environments for these kids. It’s simply not their job.

For the most part, I haven’t had a serious problem with Standardized Testing. Probably because my daughter Ainsley performs well on them and I have no reason to believe that my son Zack won’t perform well, too. My problem this year was the way Standardized Testing is being delivered to students. Ainsley sobbed that she went over and over her writing essay and didn’t finish the last sentence. It was confounding to me.

I didn’t finish the last sentence, now I won’t get my candy bar and I won’t get a good score!

You’re a better writer than most people in your class, how will they even know you planned to add one more sentence at the end? I’m sure your score will be above average. If not, it’s not a big deal. Everybody bombs a test now and then.

No, my teacher saw me not finish when she called time.

Your teacher isn’t grading the test.

My grade is going to go down.

This test doesn’t effect your grade at all!

What? It’s practically my WHOLE grade.

It’s NONE of your grade. They aren’t grading you with this test, they are grading your school, your teachers, your principal. If you don’t score high on the test then they take money away from your school.

No it’s not. It’s a big part of our grade, the teachers said it was really, really important that we do our very best on the test.

Yeah, because they need the money and they want to keep their jobs. Not because it effects your grade.

Well, I don’t want my teacher to be fired either!

People, my daughter didn’t believe me at all. My neighbor’s daughter didn’t believe her mother either. These are high performing students who work hard and care about their grades and their performance on tests. The school bribed the children with candy bars of their choice every week if they showed up, finished the section and tried their mightiest to score as high as possible. They told, or at least implied, students that this test would be a major part of their grades. Good God, the emotional trauma this testing has inflicted on faculty, school boards, parents and children should be enough to motivate us to think of a better method.

As Americans we’re supposed to be innovative. This isn’t innovative at all, it reduces a real education to a factory line. We’re not going to be more effective in the global marketplace with this stunted growth. Genius is born of creativity and the guts to make million mistakes before success. Intelligence is born exploration. Things do not not get invented by the people who have excellent scores on Standardized Tests, things are invented and discovered by curious people who daydream a lot. The people who ask, “What if this is possible?”

Surely, we can think of something more . . . creative. Surely, we can dream a bigger dream for our kids, for our futures.

Image via iStockPhoto/Bonnie Jacobs

Ainsley and I were in the New York Times Magazine on Friday. It was risky and scary, though important, because the topic was early puberty. TGR Body, our craptastic-ingredient-free skincare line (many skincare products are thought to have toxins that interfere with hormones), and The Girl Revolutionwere both highlighted.

I’ve researched the issue and shared the information here, but I’ve not discussed our personal experience. We considered the decision carefully — Ainsley, myself and her dad — and we felt that discussing it in public would be useful for other parents and girls. And it has been. The writer, Elizabeth Weil, has two girls of similar age to Ainsley and vowed to present us in a positive light, unembarassing, not humiliating. I thank her for keeping her word. I’ve received several emails of support, other parents and girls sharing their own experiences; thank you notes for being brave and helping them understand what’s happening with their daughters; making them feel less alone.

We chose not to have Ainsley’s face appear in the photographs because we couldn’t really determine the consequences of that.

Shame & Causes

I felt that choosing not to talk about it added some sort of shame to early puberty, as if we had done something wrong, as you hear constantly, to “allow girls to grow up too fast.” Well, we’re not ashamed and we shouldn’t be. We didn’t do anything to cause it. We didn’t neglect to do anything that caused it. We didn’t do a damn thing to “make our girls grow up too fast.”

It might be the hormones in meat and milk, it might be pesticides, it might be flame retardants, it might be the plastic Playtex insert baby bottles we microwaved when she was a baby, it might be eating more protein than our ancestors, it could be anything. Or it’s possible that it is none of these things.

It might even be evolution in action right before our very eyes. The world is on fast forward with our explosion of technology. Maybe evolutionarily there is a very important reason for developing faster as a species that we simply don’t understand yet. And as things seem to be happening faster for kids, we expect more of them. Ainsley is already doing math that we weren’t expected to know until the 7th grade. They blog and learn PowerPoint in elementary school. These girls have not become adults and while we may be afraid of the consequences of early puberty, we don’t know the outcome yet. It’s not only happening to girls, it’s happening to boys as well. It’s not happening only in the United States where many of the suspected causes are more prevalent, it’s happening all over the world. It’s at least possible that it is not harmful, but helpful in some way.

Either way, it is what it is. We’re not likely to stop it, at least not before this crop of girls develop into teenagers. The only thing to do is accept it, and dare I say, even embrace it.

New Developments

Since last year Ainsley has continued to mature. But it hasn’t been as emotionally or developmentally disastrous as I had feared. In fact, the girls in her class discuss their “stages of development” very openly. They trust The Care and Keeping of You by American Girl as the Bible of Puberty. As it turns out Ainsley is #7 out of 10, not #1, in getting a bra in her fourth grade class. It was one of the best days of her life. Getting a bra is a badge of honor with the girls debating the best colors to get (tan) and the best places to buy them (Target). Girls appear to be discussing their developmental stages openly with their parents (someone had to buy them a bra). They shave their armpits, and sometimes legs, as a matter of course and are even excited about it.

Juxtapose this to the many stories you hear from women about their first menses: no one told me it was coming and I thought I was dying; I didn’t tell my mom for three days; she saw the laundry and finally explained it to me; it felt shameful to me and no one ever talked about it; my mother called it a curse and told me it would be horrible; etc. You’ve heard the stories and maybe it’s your story. Things feel different now. Parents who went through those experiences and didn’t enjoy them are communicating with their daughters about the experience of development and puberty. Girls, in general, know about and don’t fear their periods or getting breasts. Rather than weird clinical books with bizarre diagrams, they are given fun books like The Care and Keeping of You, replacing Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret (we must, we must, we must increase our bust!).

Sacred & Powerful Gift

If you’ve ever read The Red Tent, (and if you haven’t you should) you know that once upon a time, for thousands of years, a woman’s first menses was a celebratory and sacred, holy, exciting event. Women held rituals to initiate a woman in her various stages of development — from menses to birth to menopause — Girl, Maiden, Mother, Crone. I’d like to see that tradition resurrected. As I mentioned in the New York Times Magazine I do intend to throw a party. Even if it’s just a party for the two of us — a nice dinner and the Chocolate Cafe and maybe a piece of commemorative jewelry. Or a women’s circle ritual with our girlfriends at my friend Anna’s Women’s Sacred Way studio. I’m all prepared for her first period with a Red Goddess Celebration Box, filled with essential oils, eye pillows, letters from her grandmothers, etc. I have panty liners stashed away, just in case. I’d like to share an experience different from a tampon or douche commercial. I’d love to share an experience of menstruation as a sacred gift able to produce life, a source of power. (For more on the power of our cycles read Red Moon and The Optimized Woman: If You Want to Get Ahead Get a Cycle.) When I go to the bathroom to cry, it will likely be bitter-sweet, a mixture of joy and of saying good-bye to the baby stages of my little girl — knowing that precious, tender time will vanish from our lives forever. I imagine that’s what mothers have done for eons.

Puberty, whenever it comes, is not tragic. It’s a life-giving, sacred and exciting gift. Women have been having periods and growing breasts since the dawn of time, and we’ll keep on doing it until the end of time. We’ve lived, flourished and nurtured ourselves at varying degrees during different phases of history. Now is the time for a rebirth of our own sacred traditions. It’s time to heal the Sacred Feminine.

Tracee Sioux is a journalist and freelance writer, the passionate creator and entrepreneur of The Girl Revolution and TGR Body, mother, wife, seeker and believer. Tracee is also the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories and six children’s history books commissioned by Rosen Publishing. Love letters from former editors and current clients can be found on Tracee’s Linked in profile. You can also “Like” The Girl Revolution Facebook Page and follow her on Twitter at @traceesioux.

“That meal — with the salad right on top of the complet, and a bottle of the hard cider kept at truly cellar temperature in an actual cellar — was one I ate every day without ever getting bored with it. I had never given a single thought to how different the lettuces and the cider and even the butter, bread and eggs tasted when left at room temperature and never refrigerated, but now I was keenly aware of it.” – Gabrielle Hamilton, Blood, Bones & Butter

I often participate in Twitter chats about food and agriculture. A few weeks ago, during one such chat meant to bring farmers and consumers together, a consumer tweeted that he’d like to see farms “getting back to the basics.” I tried to engage him, ask which basics he wants to see, what his vision of the ideal farm looks like, but he never responded. Maybe he thought I was being flippant; I wasn’t. Maybe he thought it should be obvious; it isn’t.

The eggs I’ll eat for breakfast tomorrow are sitting out on my kitchen counter. They’ve never been refrigerated and they never will. They went straight from chicken to counter and from the counter they’ll go straight to the pan. Oh, and Gabrielle is right, they do taste different that way, better.

I’ll top them with mashed avocado or a dollop of one of my favorite soft cheeses and I’ll devour them with a glass of juice as I check my emails. It is as basic as it gets, and I suppose this is what consumers are looking for. But it’s not that simple and, contrary to popular belief, it’s not complicated just because farmers are evil.

It’s complicated for many reasons, because — as I’ve written before — consumers demand a certain level of “affordability” at the grocery store, but also because they’re generations removed from the farm; something that interferes with an understanding of what goes into the production of food as much as it becomes a handicap that effects the way their bodies react to the very food they’re eating.

We’ve known for some time that children raised on farms come away with more robust immune systems, that they’re less susceptible to allergies and asthma than their city-living counterparts. Scientists believe this is because they’re consistently exposed not just to a greater quantity of pathogens in the environment, but a greater variety as well. My kids regularly handle freshly laid eggs, they go into the chicken coops, they coddle the baby chicks fresh from the incubators, and they help haul bedding and manure to the compost. They eat the eggs straight from the counter and they’ve never once been ill, but when their city friends come to stay we don’t have counter eggs for breakfast. When clients come calling I fill their baskets with eggs that have lived a different life; they’ve gone from chicken to refrigerator in short order and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Our consumers don’t live with chickens every day. They don’t handle fresh eggs and haul manure and walk around in chicken coops. They aren’t exposed to chicken “dirt” the way we are and we can’t expect their immune systems to compensate as if they are.

Soon, a new egg rule will go into effect; one that has been strongly influenced by the salmonella outbreaks of the past few years. Aimed at reducing the incidence of salmonella in eggs this rule will put some farmers — especially organic farmers — between a rock and a hard place. One of the requirements is that chicken housing must prevent any and all non-chicken animals from having access to the laying hens’ living areas. This will, without a doubt, change the way many organic chicken farms look. It will change them in such a way that they will not resemble what consumers have in their minds eye for a happy hen’s environment, at least not as much. But it will also change them in such a way that the incidence of salmonella is reduced in eggs and therefore, a consumer’s risk of contracting salmonella from eggs is reduced. In short, it will make the food system safer. But it’s not getting back to basics, certainly not in the way most people see it. And yet, this is where we stand.

As quaint as it would be, not everyone can go back to the farm and as long as that’s the case, those of us who have, must continue to provide safe food for those who can’t. Sometimes that’s not going to look ideal, but until the market can bear the higher cost of utopian production principles this’ll have to do. It looks better than hunger, that’s for sure.

Diana Prichard is a hog farmer and freelance writer living and working in Michigan. She authors Cultivating the Art of Sustenance. Follow her on Twitter: @Diana_Prichard.

Image via iStockPhoto/Chris Keane

Who could be better as a Republican vice presidential pick than a young, attractive, up-and-coming rising star who happens to be a woman of color, a mom of young children and the governor of an important Southern state? The GOP is sorely in need of repairing the damage it’s done to itself with the “woman’s vote” by finding a woman for the VP slot. That should have been South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, but she can’t and won’t be the one to help them out with that in 2012.

Haley has been seen as a new Republican star for many years, especially after her 2010 move from the South Carolina state house to the Governor’s office, even though her state is known more for it’s support of white men like Newt Gingrich than it is for being any sort of bastion of opportunity for minorities. In light of her story, many political observers believed she would be right at the top of the VP short-list in 2012.

But that’s never going to happen. Why? One reason — Sarah Palin.

When things were looking uncertain in Haley’s bid to move from being a state representative to the Governor’s office in 2010, Palin came to the rescue with her freshly-minted Mama Grizzly campaign. Haley and other conservative women were happy to jump on that bandwagon two years ago. But Palin and that ‘mama bear protecting her cubs’ meme is no longer the political blessing it once was. It turns out that the shelf life of a Palin endorsement was a short one, and now as the former Alaska Governor tries to stay relevant with speeches to CPAC and guest appearances on the Today Show, a former Palin endorsement could be the kiss of death.

But bad Palin mojo isn’t just about what her status is today with Republicans. The HBO movie Game Change reminded everyone what happens when a campaign’s VP pick isn’t thoroughly vetted. No candidate is perfect, but as a result of what the John McCain campaign didn’t learn about Palin early on, every vice presidential hopeful this year will be vetted like never before. Nothing will be left to chance and the candidate will have to be as pure as the driven snow. And that leaves Haley out.

While she’s denied the rumors that continue to circulate about whether she’s had extramarital affairs, it doesn’t even matter if they’re true. Since it looks like the Republican presidential candidate will be either Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum — both men who wear their faithful family-man bona fides on their sleeves — there is no room in their campaigns for even the slightest chance of a marital scandal for a running mate.

Haley’s biography, Can’t is Not an Option: An American Story, is out this week and the timing was clearly a strategic one to help position herself as a potential vice presidential pick. But that’s all changed thanks to HBO’s somewhat melodramatic reminder about what happened with Palin in 2008.

Obviously there’s more to Haley’s life story than rumors of possible marital infidelities. And whether you agree with her politics, or not (and I don’t) there’s no question that her life is an inspiring one for many people — especially young girls — as someone who had to deal with racial injustice as a part of growing up and found a way to create a successful life and become a political influencer in her own right.

But no matter how inspiring her personal story is, the shadow of Sarah Palin is a long one, and the McCain campaign’s inadequate vetting of Palin, combined with even the possibility of a skeleton in Haley’s closet, will keep her off the GOP ticket in 2012, and probably forever.

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Image courtesy Joyce Culver/92Y

Who’s getting in our way when it comes to women in elective office? Ourselves, in many cases.

Whether it be doubting that we can win, not wanting to leave our young children at home in the care of others while we’re on the campaign trail or in office, or whether we just don’t think we have what it takes – women are often their own biggest critics.

It’s in our nature to sow feelings of self-doubt, despite the fact that of all people, WE should know better. WE should know that not only can we run for office – and win – but we can literally change history by adding that feminine touch to hot-button policy item and issues that matter most to our communities. After all, don’t most of us hold down demanding jobs while raising kids, making sure school projects and homework are done, keeping the house from looking like a tornado tore through it, attending PTA meetings and soccer practice, and volunteering in our communities, and maintaining family finances?

During an recent event in New York City presented by 92Y and Glamour Magazine, women helping to make inroads in this arena challenged other women to embrace their ambition and not be dissuaded by the critics.

“If you just look at the numbers, it’s not that encouraging, but it IS encouraging … I can tell you, from the feel and the atmosphere and response, there is endless potential for women to be elected in New York City and New York State, in my opinion,” said New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn. “I don’t see at all, any evidence, that gender holds us back. I think what holds us back is ourselves. We decide what we can’t do. We decide what we can’t risk.”

What makes us not take that risk? A 2011 American University study notes that men are 60 percent more likely than women to think of themselves as “very qualified” to run for office, whereas women are more than twice as likely as men to rate themselves as “not at all qualified.” Plus, we’re not the gender amped up to jump into the ring and draw blood.  Being a target of media scrutiny and criticism isn’t exactly a turn-on to many women.

One of the difficult decisions to make is to “be that target” for people’s criticism, said Amy Holmes, news anchor for GBTV’s Real News at the Blaze, former CNN contributor and speechwriter for former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee. “For women, I think that can be a little more difficult decision than it can for men.”

Men like to put “scalps up on their wall” and enjoy the competition, she added, but “to be a woman in public life certainly is not easy – you have to have a very thick skin and be prepared.”

Sandra Fluke is a woman who has such a thick skin. After being called some of the worst names in the book by Rush Limbaugh for her statements on female contraception and health care – something moderator Chelsea Clinton said she could empathize with, since, at the age of 13, Limbaugh referred to the former First Daughter as the Clinton “dog” – Fluke’s response was grace under fire.  Why? She didn’t want the whole nasty ordeal to discourage other women from speaking out.

“One of the things I was really concerned about when this sort of verbal attacks began was, what kind of message this was going to send to very young women – to pre-teens and very young girls,” Fluke said.  “I wanted to be an example of someone who did not go away as a result and talked about how it was wrong. I wanted to talk about how it was an attempt to silence women because I wanted to have young women understand it as that. I really hope, still, that it will be an empowering moment in some strange way for young women to say ‘I realize this is a risk but I realize I need to respond to it.’”

Whether you agree with Fluke or not on her specific views on health insurance and contraception, can one argue with the premise that more women need to be encouraged to speak out on the very issues that are important to them and their families, their communities?

We Need to ‘Unpack the Baggage’ of 2008

Reflecting on the treatment of women in politics in the recent past may be a necessary evil in order to move forward.

Nicolle Wallace, a Republican mom who is the former communications chief for President George W. Bush and served as the McCain-Palin campaign senior advisor in 2008, said the treatment of women candidates like Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin in the 2008 election was so painful for her, she took to writing fictional books with powerful women at the center of the story lines.

“There were things said about women … that make men blush when you walk into a newsroom,” she said. Both Republicans and Democrats approached her after the election to voice their concern about the abhorrent treatment of those women – and others, such as Michelle Obama – that election year by the media, their own party, and political opponents.

“I think the reality is, we go back and unpack and relitigate what happened four years ago” before we can really move forward, Wallace said. “We are perfectly capable of pulling ourselves up – we do it every day, no matter what our jobs are,” she added. But “we have to acknowledge that something traumatic happened – not just to a handful of women, to the party, but to the country.”

Wallace, of course, was referring to how many Clinton supporters and women proposed boycotts of cable news networks in 2008 and charged the media with sexism in their coverage of her campaign.  That rallying cry gained supporters the likes of Katie Couric and Howard Dean.

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews called Clinton a “she-devil” who only got as far as she did in politics because her husband “messed around.” Tucker Carlson, also on MSNBC, said, “when she comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs.” The year before, a Washington Post fashion writer penned an entire story on Hillary’s cleavage, and she was referred to as “b-tch” at John McCain rallies.

As for Sarah Palin, whether you like her politics or not, questions surrounding whether she really was the one who gave birth to her youngest son, how she could possibly be vice president while caring for a baby with Down syndrome, the focus on what RNC money was spent on clothes, etc., served as endless fodder for the media cycle.

Wallace said the McCain-Palin campaign was “flabbergasted” in 2008 when solid, reliable reporters who never previously displayed bias wanted “serious answers” to questions like how she could be a mother and vice president at the same time. When has a man EVER been asked that question?

But women also need to stop beating each other up. We go into Mamma Bear mode when it comes to our kids; perhaps that same sentiment kicks in when we’re competing with other women, whether it be in politics, business, or another industry.

I’ve talked to people in the business world who cite something like “The Queen Bee” syndrome as to why women tear each other down – where the female tries to preserve her power by not promoting younger women, ad otherwise undermining their attempts to climb the corporate latter. After all, the queen had to work hard to get to where she was, right? In the venture capital world, studies have shown that although trends of “homophily” exist – where women tend to ask other women investors for money (the small number of women in that community, that is), and men tend to ask men – women had a slightly better chance of getting funding from male investors than they did from female investors.

“Women don’t get behind women just because they’re women,” Wallace said. “There is no one more vicious on their own than conservative women versus conservative women – it’s our own form of domestic violence.” That could be because there are so fewer conservative women than non-conservative women. Maintaining that “queen bee” position is even more important when you’re a big fish in a small pond.

Can We Really ‘Just Do It?”

Studies have shown that women are more likely to run for office because they were encouraged – or pushed hard – than men.

“Men wake up in the morning and decide to run for president – women need to be asked. And they need to be asked on average seven times,” said Stephanie Schriock, president of EMILY’s List. “It’s not necessarily natural for us to say ‘yes’ right away because we want to think about it.”

As much as some of us may love the idea of running for office, there are more issues involved than just getting our names on the ballot. We have to make sure someone else can help raise the kids and pack their lunches, take care of the house and extended family that may need tending to, make dentist and doctor appointments, and keep our family lives otherwise running smoothly.  And if we DO run, and DO win, a very different burden exists for the woman who holds office than that of a man.

A woman’s day does not end once she leaves the office. After often putting in a 12-hour or more workday, she often returns home to help kids with homework, make Halloween costumes, bake cookies or cupcakes for school, or cleaning the house. We try to rush home after work just to get a glimpse of our children before they go to bed, and let them crawl into our own beds at night because we feel guilty at not spending enough time with them.

“There is still a burden women place on themselves to do it all,” Wallace said. “It is not just structurally more challenging, but it is morally different for a woman who leaves her kids in the hands of others, who leaves the household in the hands of others.”

But Fluke noted that there are “structural barriers” like affordable childcare that still prevent many women from running – not to mention access to affordable contraception for many underprivileged women to put them more in control of their reproductive lives.

“We have to think about how our public policies create these barriers for women. Let’s have more support for childcare that allows women to have these careers,” she said.

We need more women in politics not just because they are underrepresented, but because a female’s voice is necessary to elevate issues of importance and to help forge more consensus than political bickering. And we’re not just talking about women’s health or education, but issues that include homeland security and tax reform, among others. Women do not have a “gyno-centric view” on issues,” Holmes said. “We care about a lot of things.”

Schriock added: “We have to ask each other to get involved and do this because when it does happen, we know that the policies that come out when there’s more women involved, are better for our communities and our families.”

Guest contributor Liza Porteus Viana is a journalist with more than 12 years of experience covering politics. She also covers business, intellectual property and homeland security for a number of media outlets, and is editor of genConnect.com. Like many other moms, she is always trying to find that oh-so-elusive work-life balance as a full-time freelancer with a toddler at home in New Jersey. She previously worked at FOXNews.com as a national and political correspondent, and National Journal as a technology policy writer in Washington, D.C., and her work has appeared in publications such as Worth Magazine, Portfolio, PoliticsDaily, The Huffington Post and Forward Magazine. Liza tweets at @lizapviana and is on Facebook. She also blogs at lizapviana.com.