Fiscal Cliff Talks: What Might Have Happened Between Boehner and Obama

Barack Obama: John! How’s it going?

John Boehner: Can’t complain, Mr. President. Cigarette?

BO: No, thanks, I quit.

JB: Right. So. Played any golf lately?

BO: No time. Big election. Shitshow in Libya. You know how it is.

JB: I hear ya.

(The men stare at each other thoughtfully)

JB: So. The fiscal cliff.

BO: Yep.

JB: You got internal polling?

BO: Of course. My base wants to tax the rich.

JB: Mine doesn’t.

BO: Your guys still knuckling under to Norquist?

JB: Like yours are knuckling under to unions.

BO: What are you gonna tell ‘em?

JB: What do you think? I’m going to say we can’t decide anything and I’m going to make it look like your fault. You?

BO: Uh-huh. I’m going to appear in the Midwest and say you don’t care about the middle class.

JB: Alright. Meanwhile, I’ll go strip some Tea Partiers of good committee assignments as punishment for voting against me all the damn time. Maybe that’ll bring my caucus in line.

BO: Ok. I’ll put a bug in Harry Reid’s ear about entitlement reform. Then I’ll run some more polls.

JB: I’ll do the same. Meet back here in a week?

BO: Will do. Maybe by then we can get serious.

JB: See you then.

BO: See you.

For part two of these enlightening discussions, head over to Rebekah’s place, Mom in a Million.

Fiscal Cliff talks part 1 cross-posted with permission

Image via Website of John Boehner

Magic Mike XXL, women's erotica, Women's sex lives, women's fantasies, male gaze, female gaze, feminist and Magic Mike
Magic Mike XXL: Male Strippers, Women’s Fantasies and Why We Should Stop Judging Each Other
Taylor Swift, Apple, streaming music, royalties
Taylor Swift vs. Apple: A Girl Power Moment for Our Daughters
Frances McDormand on aging, aging in Hollywood, Uma Thurman plastic surgery
Frances McDormand is My New Hero After Saying ‘This is What 57 Really Looks Like’
Treasury to put woman on ten dollar bill, women on 20
Women on the $10 Bill: What Happened to Women on 20s?
white people talking about race
Just a White Girl From the Suburbs
Fourth of July, Independence Day, Confederate flag, Southern rights vs. others rights, carrying guns in Starbucks, health care, political disagreement
Freedom Rider: Declaring My Independence From Selectiveness and Snark
whiny parents, parenting, guilt, motherhood guilt, parenting complaints, make whiny parents stop complaining, helicopter parents, extreme parenting
Hey Whiny Parents, Get Over Yourselves!
firing employees for reproductive choices, ware on women, workplace discrimination, religious employers no birth control, losing your job for birth control
The Casual Feminist: MYO Damn B on Repro Choices
Hillary Clinton, Selina Meyer, VEEP, Hillary e-mails, who said it Hillary or Selina
Hillary Clinton or Selina Meyer: Who Said It?
Hillary Clinton 2016, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama
Hillary Seemed Like Such a Good Listener
Ben Carson, Ben Carson 2016 presidential race
Dr. Ben Carson: Not Right for 2016
Hillary Clinton should ditch Bill, Hillary should leave Blii Clinton, Does Hillary Clinton need to leave Bill to win White House
Saying Hillary Clinton Should Ditch Bill is Really Asking This — “Why Does She Stay?”
white people talking about race
Just a White Girl From the Suburbs
Magic Mike XXL, women's erotica, Women's sex lives, women's fantasies, male gaze, female gaze, feminist and Magic Mike
Magic Mike XXL: Male Strippers, Women’s Fantasies and Why We Should Stop Judging Each Other
whiny parents, parenting, guilt, motherhood guilt, parenting complaints, make whiny parents stop complaining, helicopter parents, extreme parenting
Hey Whiny Parents, Get Over Yourselves!
working mothers
Working Moms, Don’t Use That Harvard Study To Validate You!
white people talking about race
Just a White Girl From the Suburbs
remove Confederate flag, South Carolina, Charleston, Nikki Haley, racism
The Trouble with “Heritage, Not Hate.”
alizagraying_edited-1
I Am Not My Gray Hair. My Hair Is Not Me.
Father's Day, fathers and daughters, families
Father’s Day: A Day for Other People
Magic Mike XXL, women's erotica, Women's sex lives, women's fantasies, male gaze, female gaze, feminist and Magic Mike
Magic Mike XXL: Male Strippers, Women’s Fantasies and Why We Should Stop Judging Each Other
National Kissing Day
The Science of Kissing
women's viagra, Viagra, Flibanserin, sexual arousal, women's desire, sex after menopause
That “Little Pink Pill” Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be
CNN The Seventies, The Seventies, 1970, The Pill, Sexual Revolution
“Lay, Lady, Lay”: Sex and The Pill in The Seventies

Get our new weekly email
Broadly Speaking

featuring our best words for the week + an exclusive longread