25 AOL Screen Names Hillary Clinton Should Have Used at the State Department

Nuclear Winter. That’s the way Jason R. Baron, a former lawyer for the National Archives, described Hillary Clinton’s use of a personal email account while conducting government business as Secretary of State. Baron expanded on his probably-better-for-Boston-description by telling The New York Times:

It is very difficult to conceive of a scenario — short of nuclear winter — where an agency would be justified in allowing its cabinet-level head officer to solely use a private email communications channel for the conduct of government business.

It turns out Hillary isn’t the first — Colin Powell used a private email account exclusively for Secretary of State correspondence before Obama signed into law H.R. 1233 last November modernizing the Federal Records Act of 1950. Meaning, in short, both Powell and Clinton, it appears, were probably well within the law to use private email accounts (technically) to send emails about Bill being a huge pain in the ass (but it was probably against the law, maybe).

Initial reports suggested Hillary Clinton used an AOL email account for her State Department duties, but those reports were false. If I need to spell it out, using AOL for anything is like strapping on an fanny pack and sashaying down a runway without irony. You just don’t do it. While we’d be horrified if Hillary actually used AOL, we’re not so disgusted at coming up with the screen names she might have used for all those state secrets and diplomatic cables.
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