Media Misogyny & Its Impact on Women’s Self-Esteem

51ZqPEYq1FL._SL500_AA280_Last week, like the rest of the Internet, I wrote about Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke but not because I thought Miley Cyrus should be flogged for her twerking. Obviously, “twerking” is not very ladylike and if she were my daughter, I would certainly advocate that she relinquish the “twerk” move from her dancing repertoire. It’s just classless peacocking at its worst. But that wasn’t even what got under my skin about the performance. What bothered me was the aftermath of fire and brimstone that rained down squarely on Miley Cyrus, magically missing Thicke, as if he had no culpability in any of it.

Granted, many people had not seen the Robin Thicke Blurred video. Honestly, who even knew that videos were still made? I thought MTV and VH1 were taken over by reality television obsessed producers and videos had gone the way of the dinosaur. When I saw the Blurred video, I realized that Miley was merely bringing Thicke’s video to the stage, almost verbatim with the exception that she was wearing MORE clothes than the doe-eyed beauties in Thicke’s video. Not so innocent now, is he?

As if that were not enough, even after pointing out the video and showcasing it, I was still called a “feminist man hater” because, as I should have been able to plainly see had my eyes been functioning, Thicke was merely a victim in all of this. Apparently, some people didn’t realize that a performance at the VMA’s is choreographed, agreed to and practiced. So, after all this, the biggest defenders of Thicke were still women. My mind was blown. I simply cannot understand how a woman could so blindly defend a man who is proven to be in the wrong against another woman. The woman being me, not Miley Cyrus.

Then the real kicker happened, a “man” wrote almost the same piece as I did. We have the same perspective on the whole debacle, the only difference being that he has a penis and I do not. Where I was called a “feminst man hater” (which I am not by the way) he was patted on the back, supported and embraced for being such a good guy. Huh? Do the double standards ever stop?

The ultimate lesson from this whole Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke bullshit is that women can never win in a man’s world and men can almost, nearly never, do any wrong in the eyes of women because our expectations are so low that if they do the bare minimum, we think they are God’s gift to womankind. Misogyny is running rampant in our government, on our Internet and, apparently, even within our own self-worth. We have such low esteem as women that we take all the abuse and then we turn on anyone in our own sex who tries to change it for all of us.

Things can never get better for women if women aren’t willing to advocate for themselves and their sisters.

Deborah Cruz is the chief creative officer of The TRUTH about Motherhood, a parenting and lifestyle blog where she divulges the brutally honest truth about everything with a lot of passion and a little humor. Her husband always knew she had a feminist streak but since becoming a mommy to her girls, it has become her personal mission to protect the uteruses of all womankind. When she is not Throat Punching people or giving you the low down on parenting, you can also find her freelance writing at Mamas Latinas, Aiming Low, Modern Baby, Everyday Family, Moonfrye and Smart Mom Style. In her “spare” time, she tweets like it is her job @TruthfulMommy and might have a small addiction to Facebook.

Image via Amazon.com

  • http://WELLinTHIShouse.com Christina Gleason @ WELL, in THIS House

    The ultimate lesson from this…is that women can never win in a man’s world and men can almost, nearly never, do any wrong in the eyes of women because our expectations are so low that if they do the bare minimum, we think they are God’s gift to womankind.

    This has been seen and demonstrated again and again in every format, industry, and location.

  • http://amandamagee.com amanda

    I’m not sure if the post you reference is the one where the guy ends with threatening violence toward his son if he doesn’t treat women with respect. All of the furor over the event has just reinforced how wrapped up our society is in double standards they refuse to acknowledge.

    People don’t like to say that feminist or feminism is a dirty word, but it is. It’s uncomfortable when we speak up, awkward when we point out that yes, women are used like objects, annoying when we point out that things aren’t equal. It’s unpleasant, unwanted, and, in effect, dirty.

    I will take being called a feminist man hater over being a part of a system that perpetuates the idea that women don’t have a real voice, or a real seat at the table where decisions get made.

    Thank you for writing this.

1*uSFwL3t4cU010HNcWqH3Vw
Why I Wrote “Trumping And Drinking”
5341066529_860a317b53_b
Get Over Yourselves. We’re All Rory Gilmore
Hillary Clinton, Shake It Off, Taylor Swift, Hillary Clinton Campaign song
Six Reasons “Shake It Off” Should Be Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Theme Song
Nancy Reagan dies, Just Say No, Ronald Reagan
A Not-So-Positive Ode to Nancy Reagan’s Frothy “Just Say No” Campaign
9473460913_f0e1c0df6d_z
A Case of Nixonian Deja Vu
1*uSFwL3t4cU010HNcWqH3Vw
Why I Wrote “Trumping And Drinking”
Wedding_rings
I Married for Health Insurance
1024px-white_mocha_ice_cream
Post-Election Munchies: What is Your Grief Snack of Choice?
9473460913_f0e1c0df6d_z
A Case of Nixonian Deja Vu
1*uSFwL3t4cU010HNcWqH3Vw
Why I Wrote “Trumping And Drinking”
31748741123_4874f2e4d0_z
Trump Reality Check, Now with Actual Facts!
WAR & CONFLICT BOOKERA:  WORLD WAR II/PERSONALITIES
Fascism Facts
Wedding_rings
I Married for Health Insurance
5341066529_860a317b53_b
Get Over Yourselves. We’re All Rory Gilmore
1024px-white_mocha_ice_cream
Post-Election Munchies: What is Your Grief Snack of Choice?
saudi-women-vote
Women’s Elections Rights in Saudi Arabia: A Token Drop in an Abysmal Bucket & the Plight of Women Under Sharia Law
Israel Palestine BDS AIPAC Clinton
HRC, AIPAC, BDS and UC
800px-Girls_At_Highland_Avenue_Train_Stop
Maybe It Wasn’t Rape: Emerging Matriarchy and the Altering of Women’s Past Sexual Narratives
Paris attacks, Paris terrorism
Is Paris Burning?
Chinese government and women's reproductive rights, adopting Chinese girls, international adoption
Dear Xi Jinping, I Am Writing to You as an American Mom of a 19-Year-Old Chinese Daughter
800px-Girls_At_Highland_Avenue_Train_Stop
Maybe It Wasn’t Rape: Emerging Matriarchy and the Altering of Women’s Past Sexual Narratives
369.the-eyes-have-it1
The Eyes Have It!
Ashley Madison, Jared Fogle, sex, rape, sexual affairs
Ashley Madison vs. Jared Fogle: Rape, Sex and Hacking in America
women's viagra, Viagra, Flibanserin, sexual arousal, women's desire, sex after menopause
That “Little Pink Pill” Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Get our new weekly email
Broadly Speaking

featuring our best words for the week + an exclusive longread