Yearbook Quotes of the 2016 Presidential Candidates

yearbook

When graduation season and presidential campaigns collide!

Sometimes, the world of politics feels a lot like high school. There are petty feuds, long held grudges, impenetrable cliques, and a lot of score keeping. Then there are elections, which are a lot like popularity contests only at the end, instead of prom king and queen, the leadership of the free world is decided.

If this year’s crop of presidential hopefuls were a senior class, they’d be collecting signatures in their yearbooks right about now, with all the attendant drama — Would Carly Fiorina sign Hillary Clinton’s yearbook? What would Rick Santorum write to Rick Perry over the summer? And more to the point, what would their senior quotes under their portraits be?

I took the liberty of suggesting notable quotables for all of them:

Jeb Bush – Not my brother’s keeper.

Ben Carson – It’s not brain surgery.

Lincoln Chaffee – I’m not a Republican anymore.

Chris Christie – Want another round of stadium beers? I’m buying! Expense account BABEEEEEE!

Hillary Clinton – Don’t ask me questions. I’m listening.

Ted Cruz – Shut it down, shut it all down!

Carly Fiorina – My parachute will be golden or it will be bullshit!

Lindsey Graham – What’s John McCain’s quote? I’ll use that.

Mike Huckabee – Jesus loves me, this I know.

Bobby Jindal – Stop calling me Kenneth the Page!

John Kasich – I knew Newt Gingrich when Newt was cool.

Martin O’Mallley – Join my email list and I’ll tell you my quote later.

George Pataki – Pataki. No, Pa-ta-ki. You totally remember me! George Pataki!

Rand Paul – I. Am. AQUA BUDDAH!

Rick Perry – Oops.

Marco Rubio – I’m not Ted Cruz.

Bernie Sanders – I heart socialism.

Rick Santorum – I f-ing hate Dan Savage. I really, really do.

 Scott Walker – State of the Union, not the unions.

Jim Webb – No, I won’t sell you a reverse mortgage. You want Fred Thompson.

Photo Credit: FreeImages

Rebekah Kuschmider is a DC area writer with a background in non-profit management and advocacy. Her work has been seen at Babble, Scary Mommy, Huffington Post, Yahoo Shine, Redbook online, and The Broad Side. She is the creator of the blog Stay at Home Pundit and is a contributor to the upcoming book Love Her, Love Her Not: The Hillary Paradox (an anthology, SheWrites Press, Nov. 2015). You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

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