Last week, like the rest of the Internet, I wrote about Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke but not because I thought Miley Cyrus should be flogged for her twerking. Obviously, “twerking” is not very ladylike and if she were my daughter, I would certainly advocate that she relinquish the “twerk” move from her dancing repertoire. It’s just classless peacocking at its worst. But that wasn’t even what got under my skin about the performance. What bothered me was the aftermath of fire and brimstone that rained down squarely on Miley Cyrus, magically missing Thicke, as if he had no culpability in any of it.
Granted, many people had not seen the Robin Thicke Blurred video. Honestly, who even knew that videos were still made? I thought MTV and VH1 were taken over by reality television obsessed producers and videos had gone the way of the dinosaur. When I saw the Blurred video, I realized that Miley was merely bringing Thicke’s video to the stage, almost verbatim with the exception that she was wearing MORE clothes than the doe-eyed beauties in Thicke’s video. Not so innocent now, is he?
As if that were not enough, even after pointing out the video and showcasing it, I was still called a “feminist man hater” because, as I should have been able to plainly see had my eyes been functioning, Thicke was merely a victim in all of this. Apparently, some people didn’t realize that a performance at the VMA’s is choreographed, agreed to and practiced. So, after all this, the biggest defenders of Thicke were still women. My mind was blown. I simply cannot understand how a woman could so blindly defend a man who is proven to be in the wrong against another woman. The woman being me, not Miley Cyrus.
Then the real kicker happened, a “man” wrote almost the same piece as I did. We have the same perspective on the whole debacle, the only difference being that he has a penis and I do not. Where I was called a “feminst man hater” (which I am not by the way) he was patted on the back, supported and embraced for being such a good guy. Huh? Do the double standards ever stop?
The ultimate lesson from this whole Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke bullshit is that women can never win in a man’s world and men can almost, nearly never, do any wrong in the eyes of women because our expectations are so low that if they do the bare minimum, we think they are God’s gift to womankind. Misogyny is running rampant in our government, on our Internet and, apparently, even within our own self-worth. We have such low esteem as women that we take all the abuse and then we turn on anyone in our own sex who tries to change it for all of us.
Things can never get better for women if women aren’t willing to advocate for themselves and their sisters.
Deborah Cruz is the chief creative officer of The TRUTH about Motherhood, a parenting and lifestyle blog where she divulges the brutally honest truth about everything with a lot of passion and a little humor. Her husband always knew she had a feminist streak but since becoming a mommy to her girls, it has become her personal mission to protect the uteruses of all womankind. When she is not Throat Punching people or giving you the low down on parenting, you can also find her freelance writing at Mamas Latinas, Aiming Low, Modern Baby, Everyday Family, Moonfrye and Smart Mom Style. In her “spare” time, she tweets like it is her job @TruthfulMommy and might have a small addiction to Facebook.