If you haven’t had the chance to read the post titled “My Son is Gay” by @nerdyapple, please do yourself a favor and read it then come back. (please come back? my self-worth depends on your return to read my post. i’m needy like that.) If you don’t go read it or haven’t yet, it’s a piece about a mom whose 5-year-old son dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween and the resulting negative reactions she received from other moms at her son’s school. It’s getting tons of internet attention and news outlets like CNN are interviewing her. It’s pretty much awesome.
The internet and the news outlets are going nutballscrazy about the negative reactions towards a boy wearing a traditionally girls costume.
My daughter has never been a traditionally girl’s character for Halloween. Going through her last 7 Halloweens, she’s been a banana, an Islanders hockey player, Nemo, Pablo (from Backyardigans), Barack Obama, Buzz Lightyear, and Buzz Lightyear again this year.
She’s never once been a traditionally girls’ character for Halloween.
Is my daughter gay? Does dressing in boy’s costumes, boy’s clothes, and boy’s underwear make her gay?
I get funny looks and am tsk-tsk’d when I make the suggestion that my 6-year-old daughter may be gay, and that I would love for her to be gay. I’m not lying.
I would like for my daughter to be gay.
Does that mean I’m “pushing her in that direction”? Does that mean I’m forcing her to listen to the Indigo girls and watch Ellen to ensure lesbian tendencies? Does it mean I won’t love her less if she were straight? Hell-to-the-no.
I would love her to be whatever and whoever she is.
If she’s gay, I would love for her to be gay. If she’s a scientist, I would love for her to be a scientist. If she’s a mother, I would love for her to be a mother.
She is who she is.
But she’s still only 6. Who am I to tell her what she should be for Halloween? Who am I to tell her she has to shop on one side of the clothing aisle and not the other.
She likes what she likes.
She LOVES Buzz Lightyear and everything Toy Story. She loves the color blue. She loves watching Star Wars. She likes listening to Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift. She loves going to the library. She likes watching Spongebob and iCarly. She likes going to hockey games with her daddy. She likes corn dogs and chocolate and chicken-on-a-stick. She loves going to Disney World with her family.
Disney doesn’t make girls’ clothing with Buzz Lightyear emblazoned across the front. Disney makes boys’ clothing with Buzz Lightyear representing the super hero sect. She LOVES Star Wars, and the only Star Wars shirts we’ve found “for girls” has only Queen Amidala or Princess Leia across the front. Her sister likes princesses; Anna likes Darth Vader.
There are no Buzz Lightyear nor Star Wars panties for girls. I buy boys’ underwear for my girls to wear. They’ve never once noticed that the “panties” were any different than their Cinderella or Hello Kitty or butterfly panties.
She just knows her favorite clothes have her favorite characters on them.
My daughter is a very logical, scientifically-minded kid. She is dying to learn more about space, she loves to play video games, and she’s a voracious reader. She also likes to look pretty in a ballerina dress.
She just happens to wear traditionally boys’ clothing.
Can I say, “My daughter is gay,” when she’s only 6 years old?
Just like any other mother can’t say, “My kid is straight,” when they’re only 6 years old. They are not sexual beings yet. That comes later. That comes when they enter puberty and find themselves attracted to whomever they are attracted to.
I’m not one to say that my children should like one person over another just because of their gender. They will like whomever they like because that’s what they’re heart is telling them they like
If my daughter wearing boys’ clothes, doing traditionally boys’ things makes her gay, then please meet my gay daughter.
I love her.
Image via Angie Lynch. All rights reserved.